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Caps vs. Flyers Recap: Russians Cheese Philly, Stake 4-1 Smashing

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The Capitals finally got back into the swing of things after the bye week, smashing lowly hockey centipedes the Philadelphia Flyers 4-1 despite Mike Milbury’s pearl clutching.

Here’s Wednesday night’s Plus/Minus:

Plus: Evgeny Kuznetsov notched two goals tonight, including the game-winner, and continues to be a lovely dude.

Minus: I genuinely dislike Mike Milbury. I wish ill upon his clan.

And now, this..

Ten more notes on the game:

1. This party got off to a disappointing start, like when your mom says, “How about Pin the Tail on your baby photos??” Just 20 seconds into the game, Jakub Voracek knocked home a doorstep put-back, and the Philly sirens sounded, crying “Nasty cheesesteaks over here!” But Barry Trotz challenged for goalie interference, and WOULDN’T YA KNOW IT, he was right again! The goal was disallowed, and Trotz is now 2-0 in challenges in the last two games.

2. To further wrench the momentum back like a presidential handshake, the Capitals’ Mr. Underrated Nicklas Backstrom ripped home a carefully placed snipe, like “accidentally” texting your ex your new bikini photos from vacation. Potential Cro-Magnon/Homo Sapien Missing Line Radko Gudas got victimized like someone who tries to play safely against Radko Gudas, and Nicky’s Tricky Stick sent the puck high over Michal Neuvirth and into the back of the gaping net. 1-0 Capitals.

3. After an elbowing penalty to Zach Sanford that Flyers fans would call “questionable” (other things Flyers fans call “questionable:” the pronunciation of “quinoa” and why Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sunday), the Capitals’ power play struck. Unconfirmed splinter cell and potential national security adviser Evgeny Kuznetsov ripped a sneaky snipe back-bar-down and out the front of the net again, making it 2-0 Caps. You love to see the young center shooting more, like you love to see Hercules lifting.

4. Not long after, the Flyers faithful (like regulars at a nasty hot dog cart) finally got something to celebrate! A lovely wrist shot beat Holtby high and -…HAHAHAHAHA, JUST KIDDING! IT WAS REVIEWED AND DISALLOWED, TOO. The Flyers’ first two markers of the night were wiped clean like Charmin, and the schadenphilly was flowing, deep and rich.

5. Finally, finally, because the nectar of Life is naught but dry starch on the tongue without the bitterness of Life, the Flyers got an honest, bite-it-and-see-if-it’s-real goal halfway through the second period. Brayden Schenn, Man With a Y-Heavy Portfolio, put Philadelphia on the board with the deflection, and it was 2-1 Caps.

6. Buuuuuut then Evgeny Kuznetsov said “Nyet, comrade” and cruised in like a ship off the coast of Connecticut with just minutes to go in the frame, giving further credence to the cries of “Why the heck don’t these centers shoot more?” and the Capitals a 3-1 lead in the process.

7. And then, literally just as Pierre was talking about how invisible Alex Ovechkin had been, Alex Ovechkin roared into the zone like the most feared offensive Fat Man and/or Little Boy since Lemieux, undressed the whole defensive crew, and finally left the puck behind for TJ Oshie to bat home. Lordy, lordy, give to your local churches and to your Feed Alex Ovechkin Fund. The game would end 4-1 Capitals.

8. Zach Sanford got another start with the big club, and availed himself admirably. The Flyers are, if doofy, a sporadically talented team, and Sanford was not the noticeable weak link. Good job, young buck.

9. In the ex-Hershey duel between Neuvirth and Holtby, Holtbly clearly dominated, posting a .971 save % to Neuvirth’s .862.

10. Hey, Taylor Chorney played tonight! Which is good, because Matt Niskanen got injured by human stew fart Radko Gudas. Brooks Orpik looked slow and rough, so hopefully Schmidt will get the next start.

A 4-1 victory over the little red devil on your shoulder that tells you to eat junk food is nice. Next up is the Oilers at Verizon on Friday.

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