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Caps vs. Blue Jackets Recap: BLEW STREAK - Caps Stop Columbus’ Run at History 5-0

The Washington Capitals cursed a Blue streak, shutting down Columbus’ run at sixteen games on Thursday at Verizon Center.

NHL: Columbus Blue Jackets at Washington Capitals Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

In what felt like a playoff game in the first week of January, the Washington Capitals stopped the Columbus Blue Jackets’ run at hockey history, ending the outlaws from Ohio’s nearly-but-not-quite-so-no-one-will-ever-remember win streak at sixteen insufficient games. This was a Whoopin’-cum-Physics-Lesson.

Here's Thursday night's Plus/Minus:

Plus: The Capitals were Not That Team. The Capitals are Not a Footnote. The Capitals did not Give Joy to John Tortorella’s Coarse Burlap Facial Hair.

Minus: Nothing. None. Find some in the comments if you like, but a 5-0 victory over the hottest team in the league is about as sound a night as you can have in this universe conforming to these epistemological laws.

And now, this...

Ten more notes on the game:

1. Who better to lead the charge against a Big Scary Tyrant than the blue collar heroes of the fourth line? Daniel Winnik, The Perfect Fourth Line Forward, put the Capitals up over the Blue Jackets early, cleaning up the mess on the doorstep for his sixth goal of the year. Big Dan is on pace for over a dozen goals this season. Good on ya, pal.

2. Six minutes later, the Capitals put together a gorgeous passing series, like a beautiful ballerina of brutal swans. Marcus Johansson, who Should Have Shot™, eventually found a crashing John Carlson who successfully redirected the puck off his skate without a Distinct Kicking Motion™. The Swedish to American wire made it 2-0 Capitals after the first period.

3. The second period saw the Capitals do nothing but apply even sexier pressure, like a dominatrix who knows what you want. Nate Schmidt, in the lineup after being scratched several times for defenseman Taylor Chorney, got his goofy self involved in a big way. Schmidt smacked home a nice goal from the slot to give the Caps a 3-0 lead. He also Perpetually Looks Like He Just Learned About Peacocks.

4. With four minutes left in the period and the visiting team reeling from the white hot heat of a thousand unfulfilled expectations, Andre Burakovsky asked, “Hot enough for ya?” and ripped home a BB to make it 4-0. Steller Lars Eller forced an excellent back pressure forechecking turnover, quickly sliding it to John Carlson who smartly made the zone keep-in. A pass to Andre was all it took, and the Caps had a four-goal lead heading into the final stanza. Would they maintain it, or let it go to crap like so many old baseball cards and collectible Beanie Babies?

5. These Ain’t Your Mama’s Capitals, and this is one lead they would not be politely conceding like spots in merge lanes. Justin Williams, your Old Bae and mine, put the nail in the coffin like a diligent undertaker with a sharp angle roofer, and gave the Capitals a 5-0 lead.

6. The would be it for Ol’ Bob the Goalie, a name so obviously fake and meant to lull us into a complacent sense of security that I wouldn’t be surprised if it originated from a Hotmail account in Moscow. The Fifth would be The Final, and Bobrovsky got chased from in front of the goal like your demons that are keeping you from realizing your potential.

7. The Caps then killed off an additional 5-on-3 penalty kill, a unit that would go 4-for-4 on the night, to seal the victory. Washington won 5-0, and Columbus’ win streak ended at sixteen games.

8. The ‘92-’93 Penguins remain the holders of the longest win streak in NHL history. It’s okay - they weren’t these Penguins, and our beef isn’t with them. This is still a victory. This is still good. Say it with me.

9. Not to be lost in the unhistoric hoopla is the fact that Braden Holtby recorded his fourth shutout on the season. He may not win the Vezina this year, but the Holtbeast is still very clearly this team’s franchise goalie. Money well spent, family.

10. HAHAHAHAHAHA JOHN TORTORELLA! Okay, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t keep it in any more.

This one was fun. Let’s walk around with some swagger on Friday, shall we, Caps fans? Be magnanimous. Hold doors for folks. Wear your best clothes. It’s going to be a good weekend.

Game highlights: