The Capitals arranged for ethically-sourced organic hemp jerseys for their foray into Brooklyn, but they must not have shown up and the good guys lost 3-2 in the mecca of hip-hop.
Here's Tuesday night's Plus/Minus:
Plus: John Carlson was back in the lineup and didn’t show too much rust. None too quick, either, lest our defensive weakness show like old Coppertone ads.
Minus: Losing to the cotdamn Islanders. Shades of Milbury.
And now, this..
Ten more notes on the game:
1. The game got off to a patriotic and healthful start, with Captain America John Carlson back in the lineup for the first time since getting injured before the All-Star break. Good to have the ol’ top-pair stalwart back.
2. As for the scorekeeper, his or her job began four minutes into the game courtesy of Russian sleeper cell Evgeny Kuznetsov. Kuzy caught a great breakaway lead from Justin Williams in the neutral zone and was off to the races, snapping his wrists like “Girl, what?” to give the Caps a 1-0 lead.
3. In the same end of the gene pool, Kuzy’s New Young Gun counterpart Andre Burakovsky was positively buzzing like protons in the first period. Dr. Dre disrupted and distended the Islanders defense until chaos reigned like so many dystopian novels. Good job, young blood. Secure the future of the franchise.
Lol, Burakovsky and Connolly's Corsi For percentage is literally 100 percent. On the ice for 11 shot attempts, zero against.— Tommy Chalk (@Tommy_Chalk) February 1, 2017
4. The second period, for its part, got off to a bad start like a Brooklyn pop-up that sells Trump t-shirts. New York’s Alan Quine made the Capitals pay for a Matt Nisaknen penalty, potting home an empty-net chip shot past an utterly befuddled Philipp Grubauer.
5. The third period, for its part, got off to a bad start like a Brooklyn pop-up that sells GMO trans fats. Ryan Strome caught Brooks Orpik looking in the low slot, putting the second goal past Grubi and giving the Islanders their first lead of the night six minutes into the final frame, 2-1.
6. The Capitals pulled Grubauer, and the Islanders capitalized (get it?) on the empty net, making it 3-1 and driving the final nail into the coffin. (Or was it?)
7. It wasn’t! Because then our valiant Captain Alex Ovechkin smashed home a heroic one-timer to cut the lead to 3-2, But, alas, that would be it, and the good guys would fall to New York.
8. Grubauer performed admirably in place of an All-Star fatigued Holtby, tired from the experience like Mario after being temporarily invincible. He saved 26 of 28 shots for a .929 save percentage, and continues to bolster his - ahem - trade value. BACK OFF, MCPHEE!
9. In a matchup of the captains, Alex Ovechkin recorded one goal and Tavares one assist, for a combined two points. Talk about overrated, amirite?
10. Shouts out to NYC Caps Crew, who continue to hold down the fort in enemy territory in and around New York, and are officially the account you should follow immediately.
Goals from Kuzy and Ovi, as well as solid play from Carlson and Grubauer are hard to get mad about. Shake off the rust, boys, and get back at it. The home stretch is in sight.