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Caps vs. Blackhawks Recap: Caps Open a Six Pack, Smash Hawks 6-0

The Washington Capitals threw the kitchen sink at the Chicago Blackhawks Friday night in DC, recording their eighth straight win.

NHL: Chicago Blackhawks at Washington Capitals Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

The Capitals took it to the Chicago Blackhawks like a delivery service on Friday night, knocking down, dragging out, and booting-in-the-behind the would-be dynastic dynamos for a 6-0 stomping.

Here's Friday night's Plus/Minus:

Plus: Karl Alzner played in his 500th consecutive tilt, and was duly and deservedly honored with the first star of the game. Way to be, Knuckles Mustachio.

Minus: Lars Eller, a nice European boy, took a high hit to the noggin and was visibly shaken up. Here’s hoping he’s alright.

And now, this...

Ten more notes on the game:

1. Jay Beagle, the loyal childhood dog you wish you had or the childhood best friend you still fondly recall, blew the lid off Verizon Center early, lifting the Caps to a 1-0 lead six minutes into the game. Beagle crashed the net like a suicidal tuna and got his seventh (!!!) goal of the season. His career-high goal total? Ten, and we’ve got half the season left to go.

2. And while most of you were probably still high-fiving or getting a new bag of celebratory Sour Cream ‘n’ Onion chips (what do you mean, “you don’t do that”?), Tricky Nicky Backstrom played Slick Rick with the quick stick, finishing off a go-o-o-rgeous passing play from Alex Ovechkin and TJ Oshie. Backstrom has twelve goals on the year, and is on pace for his fourth career 20-goal season.

3. Things would calm down for a bit - well, not for the Hawks’ Corey Crawford, who saw the ice continue to tilt his way - but for the scorekeeper. That is, until Brett Connolly smashed home a gritty series from his linemates Lars Eller and Andre Burakovsky to make it 3-0 at the end of one. Connolly, the current reigning “Some Guy” on this team of characters and stars, is solidly contributing to the offense. Like a back-to-school pack of Crayolas, he has six markers for the year.

4. If the ice was tilted for the Caps in the first, somebody put that thang down, flipped it and reversed it as the Blackhawks recorded the first ten shots of the second period. In fact, the Hawks appeared to get on the board halfway through the period, but Braden Holtby protested immediately, like a particularly prompt picket picker. Trotz issued a Coach’s Challenge for goalie interference, and after a thorough review it was overturned as Marian Hossa’s paddle pinned Holtby in place.

5. With just minutes left in the second period, Tom Wilson, absolutely the Capitals’ most improved player this season, in my opinion - and one that requires me to gladly eat crow - crashed the net powerfully after a streaking, stopping, stumbling, and ultimately supplying Nate Schmidt whipped a Goofy-like assist to Free Willy, making it 4-0 Caps.

6. The third period got off to a scary start. Lars Bars Eller, who was up to this point having a dynamic and disruptive game along with his compatriots on the third line, took a high, hard shoulder charge in the corner and crumpled to the ice. He stayed down for a minute before struggling to get to the bench. He was in visible discomfort for the rest of the game.

7. And then things just got silly. TJ Oshie, bona fide American Hero and unverified Playgirl splinter cell, crashed the net like a good boy should, tipping one high over Crawford’s blocker for a 5-0 lead.

8. That would be all she wrote for Corey Crawford, as the all-star goalie got the ol’ Shepard’s Crook and got yanked from between the pipes like cobwebs. Scott Darling Oh My Darling took his place, and was promptly scored on by Jay Beagle, the World War One Flying Ace, to pick up a nice frosty six-pack victory for the Capitals.

9. Speaking of delicious sixers, Holtby scored his sixth shutout of the season. Boy, the Capitals look hot to the touch right now. Ssssssssssssssst.

10. And of course, Iron Man Karl Alzner played in his 500th consecutive game! He is, quite obviously, the Capitals’ all-time leader in consecutive games played, and is reportedly made of unobtanium and diamond drill bits. Kongrats, Karl!

IS THERE NO ONE ELSE? IS THERE NO ONE ELSE? The Capitals continue to run through the best teams in the league like wet single-ply toilet paper. Next up is the Flyers at home on Sunday.

Game highlights: