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Capitals vs. Flyers Recap: Caps Have Nice Trip to Zoo, Win 6-1

The Capitals ripped Game 3 from the Flyers 6-1 in Philadelphia on Monday, withstanding barrages of ejections and fan debris to take a 3-0 series lead.

Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

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In what was one of the wildest hockey games in memory, the Capitals beat the Flyers 6-1 in a game that featured fan-induced delay of game penalties and multiple ejections. Holy cow, buckle your seatbelts.

Here's Monday night's Plus/Minus:

  • Plus: Special teams were especially special. The powerplay went 5-for-9, and the PK went 5-for-5. How can you do better? YA CAN'T, SUCKA.
  • Minus: Brooks Orpik left the game with a nasty upper body injury at the hands of a fart metastasized into man-flesh. More on that, later.

And now, this...

Ten more notes on the game:

  • Game 3 got off to the start we pretty much all expected, with Philly throwing everything at the Capitals but the kitchen cheesesteak. Just 57 seconds into the game, Philadephia's Michael Raffl put a rebound past Braden Holtby to put the Flyers up 1-0 and cause Wells Fargo Center to erupt like a cheeze whiz volcano.
  • But then, and pay attention because this will become a theme, the Capitals scored, resoundingly saying, "Naw dawg." Marcus "Contract Year" Johansson tipped home a slapper to tie the game at 1-1 just three minutes later. The sound of the collective hopes of an entire major American metropolis being snuffed out was melodious and just.
  • In the second period, Alex Ovechkin coyly hid along the blueline after hopping on the ice, lurking along the perimeter like so many Red Octobers. He caught the long, beautiful lead from (who else?) Nicklas Backstrom, and fired a perfunctory snapshot that, for any other player alive, is a throwaway play to get a line change. For Ovi? It went in, high glove side over Mason's shoulder and mounting shame.
  • Also in the second, human fart-in-an-elevator-in-the-summer Ryan White caught Brooks Orpik's upper body hard against the boards, and Brooks was visibly shaken and possibly concussed. He would not return, and White would giggle his way to the bench like the Grinch Who Stole Decency. With Orpik out, we can likely get ready for #PlayoffChorney.
  • The third period would be the beginning of the end of the damned and deserving, and the Capitals would pour it on like mama's marinara. Braden Holtby, goaltender, would loop a beauty assist across two lines to a waiting Justin Williams. Williams then ripped a slapper off the boards, caroming around to Evgeny Kuznetsov who deked and dunked Steve Mason to make it 3-1 Capitals.
  • Then, John Carlson ripped a righteous racous BB from the blueline, putting the dagger in the coffin, or something, and making it 4-1 halfway through the third. It was Carlson's third powerplay goal in as many games this playoffs. Mike Green, who?
  • Ovechkin's assist on the play made him the Capitals' all-time playoff points leader, passing the illustrious-at-hockey but bad-at-coaching Dale Hunter. Congrats, Ovi!
  • Okay, so this is where things start going off the rails. Philly's Pierre-Edouard Bellemarre boarded Dmitry Orlov in a nasty, inexcusable way. Had Orlov's neck been made of balsa wood or less stern stuff than Russian bull-meat, it would've been an awful situation. Bellemarre immediate received a major boarding penalty and a game misconduct, and will be sitting out Game 4. In the ensuing scrum, with Orlov still writhing on the ground, general good-guy boy scouts Radko Gudas and Ryan White each got ejected like so much garbage into the sun. The Flyers fans, ever paragons of discipline, restraint, and decorum, would delay play three seperate times by throwing crap onto the ice, and the team would receive a Delay of Game penalty for it. The Wells Fargo Center PA announcer literally begged the fans to stop, telling them, "Way to go."
  • In the remaining bedlam and firebombing of already-smoldering ruins, the Caps would add more goals, leaving the final score a staggering, monolithic, galacticly just 6-1. The powerplay went an unreal 5-for-9. The penalty kill went 5-for-5, and is now 13-for-13 this playoffs.
  • Not to be lost in all the hooplah is the fact that Braden Holtby went 31-for-32 for a .969 save percentage. He also now has more points than Glaude Giroux and Wayne Simmonds.

With the 3-0 monkey off their back, there is only one thing left to do: put this trash fire out of its misery. Game 4 is Wednesday in Philadelphia. There probably won't be a fifth.

Game highlights: