As the hockey gets ever more serious by the day, so does the drinking. So whether you need to take the edge off while watching your team play or drown your sorrows because your team's season is done, grab the beverage of your choice, follow these simple rules, and enjoy the games (both on and off the ice). Oh, and if some of these rules don't apply by the time you read this, feel free to swap guys out like you're Bob Hartley.
Player Category - drink when:
Player Category - drink when:
- Sidney Crosby snaps his head back to try to draw a call.
- Ryan Miller makes a save look harder than it is.
- Mike Sillinger loses a faceoff or Robert Lang wins one.
- Dion Phaneuf rips a one-timer wide of the net.
- Colby Armstrong tries to take someone's head off (drink three times if he succeeds in doing so).
- Any Nashville Predator takes a diving penalty.
- Alexei Yashin gets a shift.
- You find yourself cursing Sean Avery.
- Mike Modano does something - anything.
- You find yourself dozing off during a Canucks/Stars game... and not because it's a late game.
- A player's stick breaks doing something that shouldn't break a stick that costs that much money.
- You can hear Ron Wilson whistle for a line change.
- Bryan Murray looks like someone kicked his dog.
- When Bob Hartley- oh... nevermind.
- Bryan Murray looks like he's ready to kick someone else's dog.
- John Tortorella smiles sarcastically.
- You can see Barry Trotz's neck (this rule is here so mormons can play along and follow only this rule).
- Lou Lamoriello fires someone (finish your drink if/when he fires himself).
- Jim Playfair is out-coached.
Television Category - drink when:
- "Let's go, girls!" ad runs on Versus.
- Joe Benanati Sub-Category - drink when Joe B.:
- Notes a player's national origin or at which U.S. college he played.
- Uses either the phrase "full and even strength" or "a man to the good."
- Tells the viewers how much time "separates us from our [corporate sponsor] NHL on Versus intermission report."
- Says "soccer styles it" rather than "kicks it."
- Announcer uses the word "brink" or "stranglehold" (drink twice if not in a Game 4 setting).
- There's an awkward moment in the Versus/NBC studio and it's totally Bill Clement's fault.
- Announcer mentions how far apart, time-wise, Daniel and Henrik Sedin were born.
- Impossibly young player's impossibly bad facial hair is shown on TV.
- Announcer mentions what a winner Chris Drury is (drink twice if the words "Trumbull" and "Connecticut" are mentioned).
- Drink nothing when Brian Engblom hedges on a prediction. We're all for having a good time, but no need to send anyone to the hospital.
- Brett Hull looks like he's been eating well since retiring, doesn't he? Not a rule, just an observation.
- Announcer mentions any of the following players as trying to shed a certain reputation (drink four times if the word "choker" is used): Marty Turco, Pavel Datsyuk, Daniel Alfredsson, Joe Thornton.