What We Don't Miss About the NHL

Paul Bereswill

We get caught up in the spirit of the season, embrace the vitriol and the back-biting and the sniping, and take a closer look at things we just don't miss about the NHL.

Our SBNation pals over at Eyes on the Prize put together a fine list of things they miss about the NHL – which is all well and good, but since we the fans seem to be caught in the middle of an interminable and obnoxious lockout, seeing the positives about the NHL isn’t really on our to-do list at the moment.

...luckily the EOTP crew followed up that lovely, positive post with one a bit more our speed that reminds us of what we’re not missing about the NHL.

So we stole it (as good friends do) made it our own, and invite you to add your own in the comments:

  • Headshots, concussions and the NHL’s joke of a policy regarding both headshots and concussions
  • Horrible officiating
  • Fans complaining about the horrible officiating
  • Staged fights and the players whose sole job is to engage in them
  • Paying inflated playoff ticket costs for the golden, once-a-season opportunity to see your team... lose the series in soul-crushing overtime fashion
  • Jaromir Jagr
  • Brad Marchand
  • Mike Milbury
  • Mike Milbury
  • ...did we mention Mike Milbury?
  • Misogynistic taunts (e.g. "Cindy" Crosby, telling a player to hit someone with his purse, etc.)
  • The dumbass fan from the upper bowl who insists on yelling "shoooooot!" when a player has the puck
  • The dumbass player who takes the advice and fires directly into a defender’s shin pads
  • Reading a million articles about what "experts" think is wrong with/bad about Alex Ovechkin this week
  • Games in early February. Season’s half over, jockeying for playoff position hasn’t started and almost no one has been traded yet. Dullzzzzville.
  • The word "enigmatic"
  • Having someone's $8 beer spilled on you
  • Having your $8 beer spilled on you
  • People violating the "puck in play" rule...
  • ...unless said people are escorting tiny, barely potty-trained children to the bathroom. Then it's the people who yell at them.
  • Buffalo fans who pile onto buses and drive eight hours just to hurl insults and start fights in the stands
  • Pittsburgh, Philly and New York fans who act like they’ve piled onto buses for eight-hour journeys …but who really just hopped in the car and drove ten minutes just to hurl insults and start fights in the stands
  • Idiots who start fights in the stands, period
  • Having to see Jeff Halpern, homegrown product and local hero, donning a Rangers jersey
  • Any game that starts before 5 p.m.
  • Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey’s mere existence
  • Horrible TV commentators from around the League who aspire to Steigerwaldian Erreyness (including but not limited to the Altitude crew in Colorado, Buffalo’s Rick Jeanneret and especially Jack "NOT IN THIS HOUSE" Edwards)
  • Metro after games... yeah, we're looking at you, Red Line
  • Anytime you're reminded that Matt Cooke has his name on the Stanley Cup
  • Hockey "insiders" being treated as actual insiders by clueless people
So...what did we miss?
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