Caps Players and "The Wire"

I've had a little bit of down time over the holidays, so just for fun I decided to create a fusion of two of the Rink's favorite things: the Washington Capitals and the classic HBO show The Wire. I decided to match up Caps players with characters from The Wire (with some consulting assistance from F&B) based on personalities, roles, etc. In addition, I provided some quotes from the characters that I think particularly highlights the comparisons.

This list doesn't cover every player on the Caps, and it certainly doesn't cover every character from The Wire, so if you have any other additions (or think I'm off on any of my comparisons) I'd love to hear what you have to say in the comments.

Warning: This list may include some spoilers for those who haven't seen the show. So if you are not familiar with The Wire go out and watch it. Then come back and read this list after the jump.

Alex Ovechkin – Jimmy McNulty


The effort and the drive to do good are never lacking, but the strategy is often misguided and lacking introspection.

"The fuck did I do?"

"Fuck the fucking numbers already! The fucking numbers destroyed this fucking department. Landsman and his clearance rate can suck a [rectum]."

Mike Green – Avon Barksdale


Meteoric rise to the top, but burnt out quickly. He’s had extended absences, but when he’s in it he controls the game. He won’t apologize for who he is.

"I ain't no suit-wearin' businessman like you... you know I'm just a gangsta I suppose..."

Nicklas Backstrom – Bunk Moreland


Equally talented, but less flashy than McNulty so he doesn’t get the same attention. Often gets dragged into McNulty’s antics, and by the end of the show you realize that Bunk is the top cop on the force.

"A man must have a code"

"I'm your mother fucking savior is what I am."

"The Bunk is strictly a suit-and-tie motherfucker."

"I'm a murder police. I work murders. I don't fuck with no make-believe. I don't jerk shit around. I catch a murder, and I work it."

Alexander Semin – Lester Freamon


Supremely talented, and perfectly willing to work long as it’s the way he wants to work. He gets an interesting murder? Works his ass off. Stuck in the evidence room? Time to build dollhouse miniatures. Doesn’t like the department’s priorities? We must kill again…

"I don't wanna go to no dance unless I can rub some titty."

"If you have a problem with this, I understand completely, and I urge you to get as far fucking away from me as you can."

Brooks Laich – Jay Landsman


Good police, but also a major company kiss ass.

"[Bruce Boudreau] is very reasonable. They say that about him."

Karl Alzner – Brother Mouzone


Quiet, unassuming and easy to overlook. But you best not fuck with him.

"What you need to be concerned about is what’s seated in the chamber now: a copper-jacketed, hollow point 120-grain hot street load of my own creation. So you need to think for just a moment and ask yourself: what do I have to do before this man raise up his gun again?"

John Carlson – Omar Little


Cold-blooded (Canada) killer. Used to battle Alzner for a roster spot, but together they make a deadly tandem.

"And I keeps one in the chamber in case you ponderin'."

"You come at the king, you best not miss."

John Erskine and Jeff Schultz – Herc and Carver


Very different styles: big tough cop who occasionally gets himself in trouble acting without thinking first, and the smarter, gentler cop who may be too soft for the job at times. They want to be more than role players, but they just can’t get out of their own way.

Det. Ellis Carver: See, that's why we can't win.

Det. Thomas Hauk: Why not?

Det. Ellis Carver: They fuck up, they get beat. We fuck up, they give us pensions.

Roman Hamrlik – Proposition Joe


A lot of success for a long time in a young man’s game, but has his time finally come? (Note, this was written a couple of weeks ago, and Hamrlik's play has rebounded since then)

"Omar on the one side holding a spade. And maybe Marlo to the other holding a shovel. And just at this moment... I managed to crawl out my own damn grave. No way do I crawl back in."

"Proposition, then--I just step out the way. You never hear from me again. I just disappear."

Marcus Johansson – Nick Sobotka


Young, not flashy, but don't underestimate him because he's got skill. Often stuck dragging around a dope of a linemate.

"Seniority sucks."

Mike Knuble – Slim Charles


Doesn’t matter who the kingpin is, he just keeps on having success, because he just does his thing.

"Game’s the same, just got more fierce"

Jason Chimera – Bodie


Been around for a few regimes, always gives a solid effort and brings something to the table, but he’ll never be the main guy.

"But where the fuck they at when they supposed to be standing by us? I mean, when shit goes bad and there's hell to pay, where they at? This game is rigged, man. We like the little bitches on a chessboard."

Dmitry Orlov – Sergei Malatov


Boris, always Boris

Tom Poti – D’Angelo Barksdale


His contract says he'll be around forever, and you always sort of remember him, but he's been a ghost for the last three seasons.

"If anybody asks you if in you in this game, you tell 'em you in it for life, a'ight?"

GMGM – The Greek


The mastermind who never tips his hand. Everyone still thinks he’s Greek/gonna sit tight at the deadline.

"Business, always business."

Dale Hunter – Cedric Daniels


Less experienced rising star with some dirt in his past. Skipped a few steps in getting promoted quickly to the top to shake up the organizational culture.

"Couple weeks from now, you're gonna be in some district somewhere with 11 or 12 uniforms looking to you for everything. And some of them are gonna be good police. Some of them are gonna be young and stupid. A few are gonna be pieces of shit. But all of them will take their cue from you. You show loyalty, they learn loyalty. You show them it's about the work, it'll be about the work. You show them some other kinda game, then that's the game they'll play."

And as a bonus, here's a former Caps player…

David Steckel – Roland Pryzbylewski


(Courtesy of J.P. - Not worth a whole lot, generally, but has a specific useful skillset and – fuck, he just shot another cop by accident. Jesus Christ.

"’Failure to properly identify myself as a police officer.’ Sounds like what I was guilty of most of my career, actually."

If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.

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