If Hockey Players were Beers: Part Deux

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 7:44 AM EDT

If Hockey Players were Beers: Part II

Jeff Halpern: Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA

A local, obscure favorite. Most people don't even realize the brewery has its own restaurant in Montgomery County. It's not as strong as some of the other IPA's, nor the best tasting. But a good introductory dogfish and a good pick when you need something with just a little flavor and a little class. It's not the kind of beer you want to drink all the time, but when an out of town friend comes to visit, you try to show your snooty knowledge of local micro-brews by grabbing one of these. It will make you look like an experienced beer drinker. Often seen in the same part of the beer isle along side much more potent beers like the Rogues.

Dwayne Roloson: Chimay Grand Reserve

As cliche' as it sounds, it's one of the few beers that actually get BETTER with age. A lot of hipsters have just recently got into this beer, not realizing it's been around FOREVER. You can't drink it all the time or you'll either end up broke or blind. It's better left as a one time purchase for a celebration. Plus, if you look at pictures of Scourmont Abbey, where it is brewed, it looks a lot like Skeletor's castle.

Matt Hendricks: Shiner ~~Boch~~ WHEAT Beer. Thanks D'ohboy (ya jerk!)

I've said this before: Not just a clever name (I'll give you a moment). Blue Moon was once the king of popular ~~heffeweizen~~ wheat market, but the growing popularity of this reletively new out-of-towner seems to be taking a chunk out of its market share. A lof of heff fans have since adopted Shiner as their new favorite Wheat beer. Blue Moon will alway hold a dear place for many fans, but Shiner is just as good. Plus. the Spoetzl Brewery makes a few different non-heffeweizen types as well... if you really have the hunch to change it up every once in a while.

Trevor Gilles: Olde English 40 oz

When you're a white guy trying to look tough, but really just end up looking like a douche, then this is probably what you're drinking. It has no real purpose other than to f$!k you up or to make you think you look intimidating. If anyone makes fun of you for drinking it, you can always crack a bottle over that persons' head and then taunt that person while hes on the ground bleeding as the cops haul you away for attempted murder. You'll probably just get a slap on the wrist for it anyways.

The Staal Brothers: The rainbow of Sam Adams beers

Some people love them. Some people hate them. There's plenty of heated debate on both sides. The point is, people won't SHUT THE HELL UP about them. Oh wait, I'm talking about the beers? Sure well, then definately above average, when you consider some of the other garbage in the beer isle and if someone hands me one, I'm not going to turn it down, but it's definitely not the beer I would have in my fridge if I wanted a combination of good taste and descent price. Sure, one of them won some kind of award in the past, but who cares? He's still an assh.. oh.. sorry, we're supposed to be talking about beers here?

If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.

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Rec'd . . . but. . .

Sorry to be pedantic, but:

Dogfish Head 60 Minute isn’t exactly “obscure.” It’s available pretty much nation-wide at this point – I saw it all over the place on a recent trip through the NW (sitting lonely and unconsumed for the most part as it’s downright bland compared to most west coast IPAs). For local, obscure favorites I’d go with Starr Hill, Port City or DC Brau – none of which are available outside the DMV to the best of my knowledge.

With regard to aging Chimay – there are actually a lot of beers that improve with aging, it depends a lot on the type of beer and also how it has been bottled. Many of Goose Island’s “name” beers (Matilda, Juliet, Pere Jacques, Sofie) age well on account of being bottle-conditioned. Many imperial stouts, grand crus, tripels, quadrupels and sours can also benefit from aging. I had a New Belgium “La Folie” sour brown from 2006 earlier this year and it was out of this world.

Shiner Bock is a good beer but it’s. . . wait for it . . .a Bock, not a hefeweizen. A bock is typically a dark lagered beer with barley as the main ingredient, while a hefeweizen is typically an unfiltered pale wheat ale. The two don’t really taste similar whatsoever. Blue Moon is also not a hefeweizen, it’s a wit beer. The king of the popular hefeweizen market (much less popular than it used to be given the advancing popularity of IPAs) has been (and I think still is) Widmer Hefeweizen, although my personal favorite is Paulaner. . . Shiner actually does make a hefeweizen, but it’s an ancillary beer for them.

Armareddon.

by D'ohboy on Aug 11, 2011 9:33 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

You’re right. Shiner Makes a heff. It actually tastes almost exactly like Blue Moon, which technically isn’t a heff, but it’s pretty damn close. If you ask me, Shiner, Blue Moon, and Widmer all taste pretty much the same to me. I should have just used the phrase Wheat Bear in the Hendricks part to be more general.

Obscure is a bit of a subjective word. I wouldn’t say it’s obscure to the DC area, but definitely to everywhere else: Obscure meaning that a semi-descent beer aficionado would know what it is, but most beer drinkers wouldn’t.

there are actually a lot of beers that improve with aging

But they aren’t brewed in Skeletor’s castle like the Trappist beers!

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 9:42 AM EDT up reply actions

Try Allagash White and you will never want a Blue Moon or Shiner ever again.

Aim for the head baby Jesus

by Doncosmic on Aug 17, 2011 8:54 AM EDT up reply actions

I haven’t had a blue moon in forever. Thanks for the suggestion though. I’ll give it a shot

by Brainumbc on Aug 17, 2011 9:12 AM EDT up reply actions

Edited and credited :)

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 9:46 AM EDT up reply actions

You should change the image, too.

Armareddon.

by D'ohboy on Aug 11, 2011 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions

Stop killing his buzz! Go clean the trub filter from your hopback or something.

by Cluster on Aug 11, 2011 12:55 PM EDT up reply actions

Right now I’m wondering how I’m going to get the 8.5 oz of dry-hops out of the tiny little hole in my carbuoy.

Armareddon.

by D'ohboy on Aug 11, 2011 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Haha what the hell are you dry hopping with 8.5 oz of hops? I don’t even think the Pliny clone recipe has 8.5 oz of dry hops.

I usually don’t make hoppy beers, but I’m about to put 1.5 oz each of Amarillo and Citra into an “Extra” Pale Ale.

(I’m calling it an extra pale ale, because I had more boil off than anticipated, leaving me with a higher than desired OG. Should end up around 7.1% abv)

by Link_Gaetz on Aug 12, 2011 11:05 AM EDT up reply actions

I should photoshop Hendrick’s face on the box just behind the name of the beer

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions

given the advancing popularity of IPA

I find myself drinking a few more IPA’s than I used to. I think really high-proof beers are getting more popular so the IPA’s are following suit. Back in college, a lot of my friends drank Sierra Nevada which I thought was disgustingly bitter. (as opposed to #9 which I liked). But there’s a wider range of taste now which is good. Plus the really REALLY high proof ones like the dogfish head 90 minute are SO strong that it’s hard to even tell it’s an IPA. It just tastes like what I imagine molten steel would :)

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 9:49 AM EDT up reply actions

Sid Crosby = MGD 64. They both suck. GOFLYERZ!!!

But still.. where did the lighter fluid come from?

by Ridley me this on Aug 11, 2011 11:37 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Uh...

Obviously Crosby is just a big bottle of whine…

Jagr? I don't even know 'er.

by PopRocks on Aug 24, 2011 5:24 PM EDT up reply actions

just FYI, but Dogfish also has two restaurants in Virginia (Fairfax and Falls Church).

and a minor plug for my former employer and Ovie’s favorite BBQ restaurant: Hill Country has Shiner Bock, Heff, and Blonde on tap and in bottles. Finding those last two in DC can be tricky.

Caps fans aren’t on the ledge; they’ve already jumped, and are merely trying to drag others into a mournful descent with them..--Stienz

Pledge Drive 2010-2011: SO KIDS CAN!! Help build a playground

by RedBirdie on Aug 11, 2011 1:35 PM EDT reply actions

Just in case you ever have a bad experience at one of the DFH Alehouses in the area -

Don’t hold it against Dogfish Head. Those restaurants aren’t owned by Sam Calagione or DFH. He just sold 3 franchises, and has nothing to do with them (other than collecting the franchise fees). So they are all separately owned and managed. They have solid food though. I miss living close to them.

Also, Alex Semin would be any beer made by Lost Abbey. They are overpriced and inconsistent, but they can be marvelous at times. No word on whether or not Lost Abbey beers take lazy hooking penalties….

by Link_Gaetz on Aug 11, 2011 3:26 PM EDT reply actions

I was gonna say Semin = Samiklaus. It’s brewed only once a year so it doesn’t show up very often :)

14%. It’ll rock your world, if you can deal with the taste

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 3:44 PM EDT up reply actions

The taste is fantastic, but man can it mess you up

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → b a (select) start

by renstar on Aug 13, 2011 5:45 PM EDT up reply actions

I actually have gotten consistently better food and service at the Alehouses vs. the Rehoboth location.

Caps fans aren’t on the ledge; they’ve already jumped, and are merely trying to drag others into a mournful descent with them..--Stienz

Pledge Drive 2010-2011: SO KIDS CAN!! Help build a playground

by RedBirdie on Aug 11, 2011 5:16 PM EDT up reply actions

I like the Alehouses. I was just giving everyone a heads up. I know someone that had a bad experience at the Alehouse, and they were holding a grudge against DFH. He was going to write a letter to bitch, before I explained the situation.

by Link_Gaetz on Aug 12, 2011 11:03 AM EDT up reply actions

Anyone ever been to Pizza Parradizo in DC? It’s a beer snob’s dream

by Brainumbc on Aug 12, 2011 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions

I have heard good things. To be honest, I need to hit up some of DC / Alexandria’s good beer bars. I lived in Arlington and Woodbridge for almost 3 years, and I regret not hitting up the city more.

I live in Easton, MD now. Maryland as a whole is a craft beer desert compared to PA and VA. No Bells, Founders, etc. Makes it harder for me to get my favorites.

by Link_Gaetz on Aug 12, 2011 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions

I orig came in here to post a Semin beer. Mothership.
I leave it to New Belgian brewing co. to describe it themselves:

“Mothership- A name that conjures images of earth shot from space…Mothership Wit is brewed with wheat and barley malt, as well as coriander and orange peel spicing resulting in a balance of citrus and sour flavors held in suspension by a bright burst of carbonation.”

"If you want to go down in [sport] history, you have to win the [name] Cup."
-Amy Wambach

by Icebat on Aug 12, 2011 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions

Excellent post. The Staal one had me cracking up.

Winterion Game Studios
Visit us online at : http://winterion.com

by winterion on Aug 11, 2011 3:47 PM EDT reply actions

What, no Bruce Boudreau selection? Maybe an (Ice) Cream Stout?

by brooksengr on Aug 11, 2011 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

Mmmmm. Miller light? Keep drinking and drinking trying different versions and no matter how much you drink, you can’t get drunk!!

by Brainumbc on Aug 11, 2011 6:03 PM EDT up reply actions

That’d be Kip Miller

Not to be confused with Kelly Miller

"If you want to go down in [sport] history, you have to win the [name] Cup."
-Amy Wambach

by Icebat on Aug 11, 2011 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions

Fantastic post

A few more:

Mike Richards — Victory Dark Intrigue
Dark fruit, coffee, toasted wheat, and an ABV that sneaks up on you. Plus, a looooong finish.

Pavel Datsyuk — Westmalle Trappist Tripel
Sweet, light, and boozy all at the same time. Pear, sugar, and maybe a little nutmeg. A delicate, gentle, but still complex finish.

Chris Osgood — Heineken
Skunky as hell and overrated.

Shea Weber — Stone IPA
Tons of pine and citrus, with mild malt to complement. How could anyone not absolutely love this beer? Pretty close to perfection.

Jaromir Jagr — Piss warm Keystone Light.
Pure fucking evil. (Unless you’re at a kegger and already drunk.)

by turnituptoeleven on Aug 12, 2011 5:14 AM EDT reply actions

Jaromir Jagr — Piss warm Keystone Light.
Pure fucking evil. (Unless you’re at a kegger and already drunk.)

or unless you have a mullet

Soon the Championship with be ours, all ours!

by kingzman264 on Aug 12, 2011 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions

I’m actually trying to think of a beer that has been sold a million times or perhaps a beer that’s been slapped with an “:illegal curve” penalty a couple times :)

by Brainumbc on Aug 12, 2011 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions

How about a crappy, higher priced high alcohol content micro-brew cask beer? (Some are good, a lot are not)

It sounds cool to pay a bit more to have one. More bang for your buck. But once you partake you realize it’s not at all what you had expected: a bit flat/dead, possibly a harsh experience, and they often leave an old stale taste in your mouth long afterward. But you let people admire you for paying the extra dough for it, acting sophisticated and knowledgeable for the experience, even saying good things about it despite the urge to make faces trying to get the gross taste out of your mouth. In doing so you somehow manage to perpetuate the feeling in others that they really need to try it too.

Often it’s an unknowledgeable beer-drinker who wants to quickly buy credibility or impress his friends who will blindly buy one without sampling first.

"If you want to go down in [sport] history, you have to win the [name] Cup."
-Amy Wambach

by Icebat on Aug 12, 2011 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

Hah. if we didn’t limit ourselves to beer then Jagr would be Cristal. Chosen just got the name and status.

by Brainumbc on Aug 12, 2011 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions

and they often leave an old stale taste in your mouth long afterward.

TWSS !

FLYERROB ! YOU STAY AWESOME FLYERS FANS ! ~ ~ ~ Lori Wilson Gray ~ ~ April 07th 1967 - May 27th 2011 ~ May you rest in Peace ~ I love you and miss you big Sis ! I cant believe at 44 yrs of age .. you went to sleep and never woke up. I promise to take care of Matt and Emily for you. With Love, your baby Brother.

by FLYERROB on Sep 5, 2011 12:08 AM EDT up reply actions

Flyerzz fan, like I should be surprised.

Anyhoo, came back to post I had an Amazing high-alcohol micro (“craft”) brew this weekend.

Jester King’s Black Metal. The staff was all saying “This beer is fucking awesome, you Have to try it”
And they were right. There are higher ABV beers, but 10.4% aint nothing to sniff at.

"If you want to go down in [sport] history, you have to win the [name] Cup."
-Amy Wambach

by Icebat on Sep 5, 2011 9:30 PM EDT up reply actions

yeah .. FLYERS FAN and Damn Proud of it.

You know, .. we in philly… just don’t get it why you hate us soooo much ?

I guess its because we are all time 97 Wins 71 Losses & 19 Ties
with 654 GF and 567 GA over Washington ? Hey .. you started it with the sarcastic comment.

by FLYERROB on Sep 5, 2011 11:44 PM EDT up reply actions

Fun read, but all it did was make me miss drinking beer. Personal favorite was definitely Roloson, although the Trevor Gilles one definitely made me laugh.

by FreedomCap on Aug 12, 2011 3:21 PM EDT reply actions

JVR ~ A New Jersey native

by FLYERROB on Aug 13, 2011 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

Joel Ward: Fat Tire. A well-appreciated beer out west that is rarely found in DC. However, it is going to start making appearances in your local supermarket starting in October.

Tortorella: Can I get another question? I went in here in a pretty good mood today, too.
Larry Brooks: So did I.
Tortorella: Well, you obviously f***ed that up, didn't you?

by Wheeler on Aug 15, 2011 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

I got an email from the Wine Bin in Ellicott City about it coming soon :) If only Ward had played for the Avalanche it would be more apt

by Brainumbc on Aug 15, 2011 11:56 AM EDT up reply actions

September, though at first it will only be in bombers, 6 packs and kegs will come later.

Aim for the head baby Jesus

by Doncosmic on Aug 17, 2011 8:58 AM EDT up reply actions

Don’t get your hopes up.

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by renstar on Aug 17, 2011 4:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Virginia distribution starts in less than 2 weeks.

Aim for the head baby Jesus

by Doncosmic on Aug 18, 2011 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Don’t get your hopes too high. Fat Tire is a thoroughly above average beer, but it’s not the best beer in our supermarkets.

"Fais gros comme moi!" - Alex Ovechkin

by Gould Old Days on Aug 19, 2011 10:06 PM EDT up reply actions

Yea, I’m much more happy that New River Pale Ale has been resurrected.

Aim for the head baby Jesus

by Doncosmic on Aug 21, 2011 9:06 AM EDT up reply actions

Danny Briere ~ Short Brew

If Danny Briere were a beer he would be the Short Brew. For the short one with a lot of zest. The liberator with taste & goals.

by FLYERROB on Sep 4, 2011 7:15 PM EDT reply actions

Sean Avery = Pabts Blue Ribbon

For the player who can make Red, White, Blue and Silver look Cheap and Chintzy while trying so hard to look Special and Important. Wearing the Clark Kent Black Framed Dork Glasses while drinking this Canned Swill is an option but it adds to the Foupax that you think your special.

“Its an Acquired Taste” you may often hear ~ whether its the Crappy Beer or Avery’s hockey Style. People are mislead into thinking its a prize winning blue ribbon but find out its actually no better than hot Garbage Bag Juice oozing out of a dumpster.