Dear GMGM: I have a dilemma. I am a 21 year old from near Madison , WI. This summer I got a job selling programmes and puffy fingers at my local baseball team's stadium. That's all good. But I have a female co-worker who likes flirting with me and asking for hugs at the most inopportune times. She says she is 18, but I found out the other day she is only 17! This is seriously creeping me out and making me hate my job. What should I do?
Badgered in Wisconsin.
Here at Japers’ Rink we learn many life lessons from following the Caps. I think there are various options open to you in dealing with your situation involving your underage, predatory co-worker of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, "What would George McPhee do?"
a) Keep a poker face and not tip your hand. And when the situation finally resolves itself to your liking, give a knowing wink to a nearby TV camera.
b) Extend the situation to an unreasonable amount of time. Especially at a time that makes little sense. Note: this may backfire (see Poti, Tom).
c) Trade one of the Lolita’s hugs for future considerations. Future in this case means, say 2-3 years down the road.
d) Pick a Russian female co-worker with whom to distract yourself. But do not pick a female of Finnish descent.
The choice is yours mate. Choose wisely. Do as GMGM would.