Memory Loss Pep Talk

[Ed. Note: As you may have heard, we at Japers' Rink wanted to do something nice for our readers (and Caps fans in general), while also supporting a great cause, so we went out and won at auction the guest blogging services of some of the blogosphere's most-talented free agents. They'll be around as long as the Caps are in the playoffs, so make them feel at home and enjoy their work. Next up, another offering from Ryan Lambert, known to many of you for his work at Puck Daddy and on Twitter.]

My memory must be failing me

Oh jeepers, the Capitals are down 3-0 to the Lightning! This is entirely new territory and I don't know how they're ever going to overcome it.

I'm very very very worried now, yes indeed.

The Bolts led the division for a fairly surprising amount of time this season (and by that I mean "more than one day"). And ever since they went up 3-0 in this playoff series, I've been trying real hard to remember something:

Who, exactly, won the division in a runaway this year? I've been really having the ol' brain work overtime on this one. I swear, I SEEM to remember the Capitals having won the division by like four points or something like that, but that can't be right, can it? I mean, the Lightning had it all sewn up in late February. Something like a six-point lead? Does that sound right? So surely that was the end of it.

I wonder why every site that lists the 2010-11 NHL standings all wrong.

It's so weird.

I mean, hell, didn't the Caps' season effectively end right before the Winter Classic. I seem to recall they lost like eight games in a row — I know for a fact I saw it on HBO — and were never heard from again. Didn't Sid Crosby end David Steckel's season or something?

Ughhhh it was so long ago. My brain hurts trying to remember.

Everyone knows two things about Bruce Boudreau: 1) he regularly slathers his face in barbecue sauce like Martin Sheen at the end of Apocalypse now before interviews and 2) fat playoff loser.

As far as I can recollect, there is no reason whatsoever to believe that this Capitals team and their oafish buffoon of a coach can respond well to adversity. They haven't done it once this entire year. What a bunch of jerks. I'm glad Boudreau's getting fired tonight after they DEFINITELY LOSE.

But suppose they win. Big deal. I don't recall any team that has come back from down 3-0 in these playoffs to force Game 7 and at least make it interesting this year. Hell, I can't even remember a team in the last, let's say, TWO seasons, that has come back from down 3-0 and actually won their series. These are things that simply don't happen. I don't know why you're all getting your hopes up.

I don't remember for certain, but I'm pretty sure the Capitals didn't even win four games in a row at any point this year.

I can't recollect any time a team with three superstar forwards ever won an important playoff game, either.

It's definitely time to write off this season, as my not remembering something definitely means it will never happen.

(In case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm!!!!)

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