[Ed. Note: As you may have heard, we at Japers' Rink wanted to do something nice for our readers (and Caps fans in general), while also supporting a great cause, so we went out and won at auction the guest blogging services of some of the blogosphere's most-talented free agents. They'll be around as long as the Caps are in the playoffs, so make them feel at home and enjoy their work. First up, the following from Ryan Lambert, known to many of you for his work at Puck Daddy and on Twitter.]
Full disclosure, I grew up in the city where Dwayne Roloson played his college hockey. I later went to that college. But the first college hockey game I ever saw featured what was CLAIMED to be a 24-year-old Dwayne Roloson in goal for that team. This was in 1993. So just how old IS this guy? I've conducted an exhaustive five-minute fictional internet search and found a list of things that are probably younger than Dwayne Roloson:
- The next-oldest Bolt, Martin St. Louis
- Martin St. Louis' father
- Martin St. Louis' father30
- The Stanley Cup
- The National Hockey League
- Composite sticks
- Wood sticks
- The Michael Keaton movie, "Multiplicity"
- The Buster Keaton movie, "The General"
- The conflict that inspired that movie: "The Civil War"
- The Tampa Bay Lightning
- The definite article "the"
- Tampa Bay
- The Big Bang Theory, the show
- The Big Bang Theory, the theory
- The Big Bang
- And a dinosaur!
- And, almost magically, here's one thing that is somehow already older than Dwayne Roloson: The Lightning acting like they somehow finished with the worst record in the league and are therefore 5,000,000:1 longshots.
The thing is, too, that I'm sure I've forgotten some stuff. Help me out here, gang.