Yes, it's a tiring debate, yes, it's annoying.  No, it's not going away. 

So last night at Glory Days I sat with my wife (Hereafter referred to as Frau Mage) and informed her she was the new Commissioner of the NHL, because Bettman was so bad, everyone else has no track record, and every single fan had such a slanted view it was impossible for them to come out with an unbiased divisional set up.

What follows after the jump are her divisions, and her rationale for them.  The rules were she had to establish cities/ares that did not have teams and should, eliminate teams that she did not see fit to have NHL teams or where the NHL had too much of a presence (Her call, it's pretty interesting), and to set up divisions based on this semi-new league.

It's in it's entirely a work of fiction.  Following the fun example, I had her align the current NHL, which she is doing now.  This will come in a second post.

First, the fun.  Frau Mage informed me that the New York Islanders were to be moving, because New York state does not need three teams, and that's completely unfair to other markets.  She said they're jumping over the Sound to Hartford.  "Bring back the Whalers".  This was the only time she mentioned a team's name and not the city.

"Florida doesn't need two teams.  Uh...I guess let's move Miami's team.  Quebec City?  I guess."  Bam, it was done in the fictional FMHL.

"Hey, hon, Western Ontario has wanted a team forever." "Oh?  Let's give them one.  Thunder Bay?  Ok!"

"Any Pacific Northwest City?" "Seattle, I guess."

Then, she said "I don't like how the Midwest has all of these states and only like...two teams."  I replied that Kansas City had just built a new stadium. Kansas CIty gets a team.

We then started listing all of the now in the NHL teams, to start making divisions.  "Los Angeles...Anaheim...Phoenix." "Phoenix still has a team?" "Yeah."  "They can move to Seattle."

So, Phoenix, New York Islanders, and Florida Panthers have been relocated.  Quebec City, Thunder Bay/Sault Ste. Marie(She couldn't figure it out), Kansas City, Seattle, and Hartford now have teams.

Then came aligning these divisions.  Her rationale was that the teams in the same state should be split whenever possible (Also applicable to province). She said that the traditional rivalries were semi important, but not as important as geographical divisions that made sense.  The other reasoning was so that fans could root for multiple teams from their state without creating a feeling of distracting loyalties.

Northeast Conference

Yankee

Quebec City
Boston
Hartford
New York

Snow

Montreal
Toronto
Buffalo
Pittsburgh

History

Philadelphia
Washington
Ottawa
New Jersey

Sunny

Tampa
Dallas
Carolina
Nashville

Southwest Division

Car

Detroit
Columbus
Chicago
St. Louis

Fountain

Kansas City
Minnesota
Winnipeg
Thunder Bay/Sault Ste. Marie

Beach

Colorado
Anaheim
Calgary
Los Angels

Rainy

San Jose
Edmonton
Seattle
Vancouver

The rationale was that the teams in the same state should be split whenever possible (Also applicable to province).  She said that the traditional rivalries were semi important, but not as important as geographical divisions that made sense.  The other reasoning was so that fans could root for multiple teams from their state without creating a feeling of distracting loyalties.