"Now Jagr, the 38-year-old Czech star, the best right wing in the world for virtually two decades, is not an easy fellow to knock down. He stands 6-foot-2. His weight is listed at 240 pounds. Of those 240, roughly 169 pounds are in his butt. He has a truly Kardashian booty, part of his colossal set of hockey haunches that set him apart from the rest of the hockey world. When former NHL defenseman Ken Daneyko was asked this week who was more difficult to knock off the puck, Jagr or Peter Forsberg, he didn't hesitate. "Jagr," he said. The reason, to paraphrase, was hindquarters." Sports Illustrated's Michael Farber
An ode to Jaromir Jagr's blessed backside. It almost ruins an article on "The Hit." Almost. But what it also does is reminds us of one of Michael Farber's favorite expressions (and an admittedly great one) - "hockey haunches."
Gilbert Perreault? He had "a swooping and powerful stride that came from his impossibly strong hockey haunches." Sidney Crosby? "[T]hick hockey haunches" at 18-years-old that developed into "great hockey haunches" a few years later.
And now Jaromir Jagr's "colossal set of hockey haunches" have been duly immortalized. So congrats to him, and to Farber for crafting a phrase that will have hockey fans everywhere waiting to see whose hockey haunches will next be so honored. Or not.