Just to see what I could come up with, I tried to think of extremely unlikely yet marginally plausible trade scenarios pre-deadline. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Note: George McPhee, please don't take these ideas too seriously.
I figure that Redden may flourish like he did in Ottawa with a high-powered, as opposed to anemic, offense. If he doesn't work out Staal is a great young defensive defenseman. Plus, I wanted to make a trade for Callahan and Dubinsky.
What? Trade Ovechkin? Well, Zetterberg is an elite pivot, and Lidstrom and Osgood would be great for competing for the Cup this season. Detroit gets back a replacement skill center, a young defenseman, and that guy who's been playing well for the Caps since he got "called up" from Russia. Balancing money in this one was tough.
Pens nation can quit clamoring for a winger for Crosby, Bourque continues his fun round trip, and Mike Rupp was a Cup-winning Devil, and still has a cool name. We gladly take on "the worst puck handler in the history of hockey" (as I sometimes see him called) in exchange for "the Iron Curtain."
4) Washington sends Michael Nylander to Omsk for Jaromir Jagr
I don't know if this is legal, but I thought it would be pretty cool, just as long as Jagr's salary is renegotiated down. A lot.
I figure Semin and Pothier are Burke-type players, Theodore is the "bad contract" Burke said he'd be willing to take on with the prospect as Alzner. In return, the Caps' blueline gets better and the goaltending situation becomes dependable and clutch all the time. Mostly.
6) Washington sends Alex Ovechkin to the Pittsburgh Penguins for Sidney Crosby and Mike Rupp.
Oh, the irony. And Ovechkin and Mike Rupp are getting their names tossed around quite a bit. I think Eklund will have a rumor up within 24 hours...
I figure having a Slovenian in Anze Kopitar on the Caps would get a friend of mine into hockey, and I've never come across a rule forbidding such a trade.
For the good of hockey fans all around. NBC, Chicago, and New Jersey tack on great announcers, and for what it's worth, "Doc and Edzo" aren't half bad, especially when they call their local network games. I'm not quite sure what the salary cap implications are, though.
9) Washington sends Matt Bradley and Karl Alzner to San Jose, San Jose sends Dany Heatley and a 2nd-round pick to Minnesota, Minnesota sends Cal Clutterbuck and Mikko Koivu to Washington. Minnesota also sends Martin Havlat to San Jose, and Washington sends Alexander Semin to Minnesota.
Brads' blood all over the ice should keep the Sharks in the Shark Tank, while the Caps get the guy with the coolest name ever and a great two-way forward. Minnesota also gets some help on offense and San Jose gets a guy who was clutch for the Hawks in the 2009 postseason.
10) Washington sends On Frozen Blog to Toronto for Down Goes Brown and Pension Plan Puppets.
11) Washington sends Mike Green, Karl Alzner, Brian Pothier, and Semyon Varlamov to Nashville for Dan Hamhuis, Shea Weber, and Ryan Suter.
Nashville gets their next goalie and finally a couple of guys to step in where Timonen and Zidlicky left as puck-moving passing defensemen (better than Weber is right now, I think) while Washington gets a solid group of defensemen with which to build a dynasty. Something also tells me Mike Green would love that city of music. Win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win-win here. (Added 1:30pm, 2-20-2010)
That's all for now. If you come up with a really nice one in the near future
I'll put it up and credit you. (Duh, it'll go green. Edit: 1:30 pm, 2-20-2010).