JRHL update, for reals this time.

Okay, so I promised I'd get it done last week, but something came up.

Recaps and Standings after the jump.

Cab Ride With Citizen Kane 108 78 14 .575 --
Natty's Ice 99 89 12 .525 10
Dale City Mages 88 97 15 .478 19.5
Deb's Goon Emporium 84 94 22 .475 20
Disgruntled Goats 81 102 17 .448 25.5


Two Prongered Assault 130 53 17 .693 --
My Jokes Getzlafs 120 65 15 .638 11
Team Pervertedlyslow 99 83 18 .540 30.5
Prestige Worldwide 79 103 18 .440 50.5
The Royal Tenenbaums 60 120 20 .350 68.5
Gould's Grinders 129 53 18 .690 --
Two Bit Crew 109 78 13 .578 22.5
Ice Warriors X 89 95 16 .485 41
Winnipeg Jets 66 118 16 .370 64
Let's Go Whalers! 57 124 19 .333 71.5
Harrisonburg Dukes 102 87 11 .538 --
Polar Bear Rebellion 94 85 21 .523 3
Don't Toews Me Sombrero 86 102 12 .460 15.5
Champaign Ice Beagles 79 105 16 .435 20.5
Williamsburg Face Wash 77 105 18 .430 21.5


Cab Ride With Citizen Kane vs. Harrisonburg Dukes: 6-1-3

The final score in this one was lopsided. It would have been even more lopsided if the owner of Sidney Crosby had remembered to get him off the bench for Sunday - the final would have been 8-1-1. But that tells you how very close the matchup was. It just as easily could have been 6-1-3 going the other way: Ties in SOG and A, separated by two goals and 2 +/-, tied in goalie wins (someone sat Marty Turco just in time for his to turn away 40 shots in a shutout. Oops.), separated by .1 in GAA, .08 in SV%. Every category that was close broke for CRWCK and while I'll gladly take the categories, I've gotta tip my hat to the Dukes roster. 105 SOG would have been enough to get the win in the category against any other team, excepting 2PA and 2BC. 4 PPG gets at least a tie with every other team except PBR. Very close matchup, even if the final score didn't exactly reflect it.

Team Pervertedlyslow vs. Dale City Mages: 8-1-1

 A couple of things stood out for me, here. First is the disparity in skater games: TPS had 36 while DCM had 28 - it's difficult to overcome when your opponent plays more than 125% of your total games. That said, there were still some very tight categories -- goals were tied, PIM was within 1, as was +/-. Ilya Bryzgalov shone brightly for TPS, posting a 2 win, 1.5GAA, .9538 SV%: Those are quality numbers. Roberto Luongo looked like he'd already headed to Vancouver during the latter half of the week and it really hurt the Mages' chances of coming out on top in this one.

Natty's Ice vs. Don't Toews Me Sombrero: 6-4-0

Whither Tim Thomas? Not one start out of all three games the B's played this week and DTMS got screwed. That said, given how poorly the B's have been playing, I'm not sure that he could have overcome another awesome week from Jimmy Howard: .941 SV% and 1.89 GAA is going to win you some categories in most weeks. With Tavares continuing his rookie fade and Gaborik starting to falter under the weight of being the entire NYR offense, Natty took a gamble and picked up Alex Kovalev a few weeks back. Bravo, Mr. Bumppo. Kovalev has been a monster during OTT's hot streak and that continued this week: 3G, 4A, 2PPGs, +2, 14 shots in 4 games of action. That's what Alex Kovalev producing to his talent level looks like and it's a damn shame he couldn't figure out a way to become consistent in the NHL. When he's on, he's one of the most incredible players I've ever had the pleasure of watching. 

Polar Bear Rebellion vs. Disgruntled Goats: 6-4-0

Think Steven Stamkos and Jeff Carter want to be Ryan Getzlaf's injury replacement if the big guy can't go? Carter finished the week with 5G, +4 and 14 SOG in 4 games, while Stamkos potted 3G of his own, 2 on the PP, was also +4 and had 6A, in more than 21:00 of ATOI for the week. Damn. Those two totally overshadowed stellar weeks from Paul Stastny, Mike Knuble and Erik Johnson, all of whom significantly outproduced their standards. Normally, we'd see an explosion like that destroy the skating categories, but the Goats weren't going down without a fight. Phillip Kuba garnered as many A's as he had SOG on the week (6!), Brooks Laich had 3G, 3A, +2 on the week and his virtual and real teammate Alex Semin lit the league on fire, going 4G, 3A, +2, 2PIM and 16 SOG in just 3 games in what would likely have been an MVP performance for the week if not for the absurd numbers that Stamkos recorded. King Henrik outshone Chris Mason, but in spite of that, PBR walked away with the 6-4 win and pulled within 3 categories of the HD squad with only two matchups left to play.

My Jokes Getzlafs vs. Champaign Ice Beagles: 8-1-1

Absolutely brutal week for the CIB squad. They just couldn't get anything going, in spite of having a roster that should be very strong on paper. Vinny Lecavalier line for the week: 0G, 0A, -7, 0PIM, 11SOG. That's horrendous, especially given Stamkos's numbers in the same stretch. This makes two consecutive years that Vinnie's dramatically underperformed his talent level, even moreso if you consider the wealth of offensive firepower he plays with. He's also not been battling an injury this year (so far as I know), so it's even less explicable. I've always thought he was one of the good guys, even if he does play for a division rival, I hope he can get it sorted out. In the Western Conference.

Patrick Marleau looks to have begun his annual late season fade: 0G, 0A, -4; maybe his mind's on Team Canada? Maybe he's saving himself for the playoffs? I don't know, but the Sharks are going to need him to step up from what he's doing now when the postseason rolls around.

Think Ryan Getzlaf wants to play in Vancouver? Even with a knee injury, his stat line was 3G, 2A, +2, 2PIM, 2PPG and 9 SOG in just 15 minutes of ATOI and just 2 games.

MJG isn't totally out of it yet, but F&B needs to make up 11 categories in 2 weeks to catch 2PA. Unlikely with the depth and strength of the 2PA roster.

Williamsburg Face Wash vs. Deb's Goon Emporium: 6-3-1

Another closely contested matchup (1G, 1A, 0PPG, 7SOG separated the two teams), Jon Quick outproduced both Brian Elliot and Jose Theodore to get a 2-1 advantage in goalie categories, while Tim Connolly (3A, +2, 2PIM, 9SOG in 19:40 of ATOI), Travis Zajac (2G, 3A, 22:21 ATOI) and Alex Edler (3A, 6PIM, 19 SOG) did most of the heavy lifting  for the squad with the smelly gloves. The wholesaler of thugs for hire got production up and down the lineup, but didn't really have a standout performance to put them over the top.

Two Prongered Assault vs. Ice Warriors X: 6-3-1

First, before I get into this breakdown, I'm going to indulge myself in a little Caps-related frustration. 27:30. That's the ATOI for Alex Ovechkin. Bruce, not okay. Not acceptable. You're up by double digits in the conference, you're so far ahead in the division that the next closest team would have to run the table while the Caps went .500 to have a shot at the title. Alex's ice time should be dropping, not rising. Time to rise above the trees and have a look at the forest, boys.

I don't want to type all the numbers of the contributors for the Ice Warriors X squad - it came from lots of different places in lots of different ways, <a href="">so have a look at the matchup summary yourself on this one</a>. Evgeni Nabokov, Chris Pronger, Scott Niedermayer and PIM from every slot in the lineup conspired to get 2PA another win, despite brilliant weeks for a lot of X players.

Let's Go Whalers! vs. The Royal Tenenbaums: 4-4-2

Both of these teams struggled to get shots on net (58-66 SOG) and in the net (7-3 G). Tie matchup, Bobby Ryan and Patrick Sharp bringing home the bacon in the skating categories for the Whalers (Ryan was 3G, 12SOG and 2PPGs for the week, Sharpie was 2G, 5A, +6, 1PPG and 22:57 of ATOI playing on the left wing with Pat Kane and Jon Toews. I think he likes it over there, just a hunch. Jaroslav Halak had the worst stats I've ever seen for a fantasy goalie that wasn't a default because the owner couldn't get a start. 7.6 GAA, .706 SV%, just friggin' ugly. Add a pretty decent week for Craig Anderson to offset the skating problems for the Tenenbaums and you've got yourself a 4-4-2 tie matchup.

Two Bit Crew vs. Prestige Worldwide: 8-2-0

Outside of Marty St. Louis (4G, 4A, +2, a rare 2PIM, 1PPG)  and Nik Antropov (2G, 2A, +3, 2PIM, 1PPG), PWW got middling production from the rest of it's lineup other than some very high +/- numbers. Roloson got lit up by a couple of teams (that's a problem with playing behind the Isles -- sometimes you're going to get lit up even if you're playing pretty well. Don't know how well he was playing, however). Big week from Chris Stewart (2G, 4A, +2, 5PIM) and 3G a piece from Jarome Iginla, Rick Nash and Vinnie Prospal were enough to put this matchup out of reach for 2BC. Unfortunately for their GM, they're 22.5 categories behind Gould's Grinders with 2 weeks to go, meaning that they've been mathematically eliminated despite fielding a very good squad. A bit of bad luck in their division selection, much like MJG.

Gould's Grinders vs. Winnipeg Jets: 8-2-0

In spite of a rare modest week for Ryan Miller (1W, 2.25 GAA .92 SV%) The Jets couldn't find a start for Cristobal Huet and defaulted all the Goalie Cats to the GG squad. An oddity, in my mind: Your name is Jason Spezza and in 4 games this week, you went 3G, 3A in just 17:37 of ATOI. How did you go -4? OTT is gonna have to fix that type of stuff in a hurry if they want to get out of the first rounds in what looks like an increasingly likely matchup with the Pens or the Devils.

Playoff Simulation:

(1) Two Prongered Assault vs. (4) Harrisonburg Dukes: 8-2-0

G: 10-11 A: 18-17 +/-: 13-0 PIM: 45-28 PPG: 3-4  ATOI: 22:03-20:30 SOG: 116-105 W: 2-1 GAA: 1.92-2.022 SV%: .9535-.925

Edged in all three goalie stats, assists. Destroyed in PIM, SOG and ATOI, even with strong to excellent totals in each category, the Dukes team falls to a very strong 2PA squad for a spot in the simulated final.

(2) Gould's Grinders vs. (3) Cab Ride with Citizen Kane: 3-5-2

G: 8-13 A: 24-17 +/-: 7-1 PIM: 10-10 PPG: 2-6 ATOI: 21:31-21:08 SOG: 98-105 W: 1-1 GAA: 2.249-1.922 SV%: .9278-.9394

Marty Turco beats out Ryan Miller (barely) for the decisive 2 categories, as the skaters went 3-3-1 and no category that either squad won was particularly close. An off week for GG would result in a simulated final of 2PA vs. CRWCK.

Finally, congratulations to Gouldie for being the first to lock up a playoff spot.

See you all after the Olympic Break. U-S-A!

If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.

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