Segmenting the Japers' Rink Population

For the most part, Japers' Rink is not a place where users come and go.  The site is frequented by a group of regulars that probably number from thirty to forty, based on my own observations.  Although we share a love for the Capitals, we are far from a uniform population.  I don't mean gender or age or geographic home.  I mean we approach the Capitals and our participation here differently.  It makes for great discourse and someday might be fodder for a sociology, anthropology or, perhaps, psychiatry thesis.

After a particular thread that rubbed me the wrong way, I gave some thought to why I was frustrated.  I realized that I was "arguing" or "discussing" a topic with a few folks that simply didn't think they way that I do.  It's not that they were more or less intelligent.  They just approached the topic from a different perspective.  This got me thinking about all the different types of people we have here and, with my marketing experience, I came to segment them as a fun exercise.  And, yes, I may have no life.

Imagine you are participating in the recap of a Caps' victory like the Leafs' game Wednesday night.  Here's how the conversation goes:

The Optimist:  No question they are going to build on this win. Good teams pull through when they play bad  It takes a lot of fortitude to come back after losing a two-goal lead late.  Neuvy looked great, and Sasha just wouldn't be stopped in the shootout.  Bring on the B's!

The Pessimist:  This just goes to show you that the Caps aren't ready to compete for the Cup.  How can they let a team like the Leafs come back in the third period.  OV didn't look like himself, and how GMGM thinks Fahey is a viable NHL D is beyond me.  Look for a big "L" on Friday when the B's come to town and more to follow. 

The Self-Described Pragmatist:  That wasn't a great game, but I'll take the two points.  No one will remember this down the road.  We have work to do, but there are 70 more games to get ready for the Cup.

The Statistician:  Objectively, this wasn't the Caps' best effort.  The Leafs won 25% more defensive zone face-offs than the Caps, which can't hold up.  Green and Ovie exceeded their season averages in TOI, which doesn't bode well.  Erskine had zero hits in the last 30 minutes, which is a trend we've seen all season long.  The Leafs give-aways in their defensive zone in the end of the third period exceeded their norm, giving the Caps the opportunity they needed, but they couldn't do it.

The Hockey Expert:  Since it's clear Flash isn't the solution at 2C, we might want to look (player) from (team) who is on their 2nd line but is expected to excel.  Alternatively, we could consider (player) from (minor league team) who has shown promise since he came over from Slovakia as a junior.

The Homer:  We got nothing from those refs tonight.  Miracle we won again, given that the NHL has it out for us.

The Overreacter:  We may have won, but Ovie just sucked.  I say trade him for Kessel.  There's a guy we could use.  And fire BB now.  My grandmother can coach better than him.

The Innuendo Police Officer:  "Green just couldn't poke his stick through the defense."  Hahaha.  Isolate that.

The GIF Patrol:  (Insert your favorite animated gif here.)

The Newbie Mistakenly Trying to Fit In:  Wow, can you believe Cyndy got into another fight?  That pansy.  I hope he and Philthy just self-destruct this year.

The Shit Stirrer (aka The Can't-Leave-Well-Enough-Alone Person):  Crosby is better than Ovechkin and this game against the Leafs proved it once again.

The Recurring-Themer:  Schultz is too slow.  We need a stay-at-home D to win.  Our 2C situation sucks - we should have signed Belanger.  The ice at VC is awful.

The OT'er:  Did anyone see The Next Iron Chef on Sunday?  I'm rooting for Chef Forgione myself.

These are by no means mutually exclusive.  You might find yourself in different segments on different nights.

Any other types I've missed?

If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.

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