FanPost

Please - Certain Nicknames In Moderation

 

An open letter to some members of this community, and to many individual Caps fans out there.  If this letter is to you, well, you probably know who you are.

 

Dear friend:

Look, Alex Semin was the Caps' 1st round pick in 2002.  He's been a part of our lives, for better or for worse, for more than seven years now.  And it's not like he's been quiet or flown under the radar or hasn't been a prominent member of the team.  No, he's been right there, front and center, the focus of much attention and more than his share of drama.

And the whole time, his name has been Alex Semin.  Yes, "Semin."  Yes, it sounds like "semen."  Which is the word in English for jizz, sploodge, rotary wankfluid, li'l swimmers, man milk, what have you.  

His name is Александр Сёмин in Russian, and when it's pronounced properly it doesn't even sound like "semen."  It's more like "Syo-min."  But I suppose someone preparing press materials for the 2002 draft decided it ought to be spelled "Semin" when written in English, so here we are.  With a player whose last name sounds like "semen."  

Which is funny.

Kind of.

Except, the thing is, it's been more than seven years.  Trust me, we've heard it all before.  And as funny as any joke can be, it's just not funny anymore after seven years.  The Caps will have the guy for another year now, and despite what seminrocks may think, many of us would like to see him rocking the red for many years to come.  And, even if he's ever gone, there'll be Semen Semyon Varlamov in the Caps' net.

I understand that the sploodge jokes will never really stop.  But they had died down to a pretty acceptable background level coming (huh huh) into this year.  And then Matt Bradley let slip the team's own nickname for Alex Semin.  Which was freaking hilarious.  But it also seems to have provoked a lot more of the more sophomoric style of sploodge jokes.  

I actually don't have a problem with folks casually calling him "Jizz" (though I tend not to do it myself).  If it's a good enough nickname for his teammates, then it seems fair game to me.  But the "Jizz was all over that guy" and "there was Jizz all over the ice" and "Jizz just squirted out of my penis" jokes are really getting out of control.

More than anything, it's kind of a "noob" joke to make.  Like you just discovered that there's a guy named "Alex Semin" on the Caps' roster.  What kind of Caps fan, or even Hockey fan are you, if the fact that a guy is named "Semin" is that funny these days?

So please make this thread a focus for verbal ejaculations about the guy's name.  Any Jizz joke that comes to mind, please -- just fire away.  And then can we leave it alone for a while elsewhere?  Because the gag has gotten really old.

Thank you kindly,
Gould Old Days

If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.

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