Making a List, Checking it Twice
by Becca H on Dec 24, 2009 2:00 PM EST
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PrintIt's that time of year again! The wonderful Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Festivus Roster Freeze period, when everyone's in a giving mood (albeit some more giving than others). And who is more deserving of being on the receiving end than our brave boys in red, who gut it out for up to 52 whole minutes a night?
Yes, 'tis the season for good cheer, gifts and blatantly repeating yourself.
So let's see who's been naughty and who's been...nah, screw it. Presents for everyone!
- Alzner, Karl - Nothing. He already got his gift (as did we all).
- Backstrom, Nicklas - A 30-goal season to go with his thousands of beautiful assists
- Bradley, Matt - Platelets
- Clark, Chris - An 82-game regular season
- Erskine, John - The coveted (and permanent) role of 7th defenseman
- Fehr, Eric - The promise that he'll never be asked to participate in the shootout again
- Fleischmann, Tomas - Blinders so he can't see when Ovechkin is in the lineup
- Giroux, Alexandre - A government ban on all Giroux-like exports from Hershey (okay, that's really a gift for the rest of us)
- Gordon, Boyd - A healthy back
- Green, Mike - A roster spot on Team Canada
- Jurcina, Milan - An itchy trigger finger
- Knuble, Mike - It doesn't really matter, since he's been perfectly happy collecting his teammates' garbage for years now
- Laich, Brooks - A nice local girl to settle down with...hint, hint
- Laing, Quintin - Continued use of his jaw. And limbs. And internal organs.
- Morrison, Brendan - A permanent line worthy of a nickname as cool as "West Coast Express"
- Morrisonn, Shaone - Nothin'. Christmas Eve Eve babies always get screwed out of gifts.
- Ovechkin, Alex - A brace for him to wear during the two or three more games this year in which he'll inevitably carry the team on his shoulders
- Perreault, Mathieu - A second chance
- Pothier, Brian - An authentic stitched Brendan Morrison jersey
- Poti, Tom - A cloak of invisibility so his goalies can see through him
- Schultz, Jeff - A little gosh darn respect
- Semin, Alexander - Consistency (and maybe a new nickname)
- Sloan, Tyler - Getting to play just one position for the rest of the year...in Hershey
- Steckel, Dave - 20 games a year against the Lightning
- Theodore, Jose - Some measure of redemption
- Varlamov, Semyon - An indestructible groin. Make your own jokes.
Any holiday wishes left unfulfilled?
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Well, there are just so very many things I’d love to give him this holiday season – I had to pick one ;)
I could think of one or two … chocolate covered nuts perhaps?
I have a blog too! www.scottyhockey.com
Let's Go Rangers!
by Scotty Hockey on Dec 25, 2009 2:00 AM EST up reply actions
Mmmmmmmmmm.....
Atta dinnin stick a who!
by Gould Old Days on Dec 25, 2009 7:09 AM EST up reply actions
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
Japers' Rink: Hockey blogging from the most powerful city in the world
We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye.
By the way, the irony that two members of the tribe are sitting here quoting one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time is not lost on me.
Nor should it be, given that our peeps also wrote most of the best Christmas music around.
Japers' Rink: Hockey blogging from the most powerful city in the world
So true, so true. I kind of love Christmas music, for some reason – and “White Christmas” is probably one of my favorite Christmas songs. I knew that was a Berlin tune, but I didn’t realize there were so many others!
That is my defense for
Christmas Caroling as a kid
Playng Wash FM in my car and at work until NYE and then it’s back to ad hoc radio
explaining the 8 footer and best decorated tree in my condo
marrying a Catholic
teaching my daughter all of the XMas tunes I can remember
almost getting pummeled by Bugsy on his Penalty Box Bus to the Cap Center (US Air?) during the playoffs of 1990 (?) after changing the words from Jingle Bells to something else (we won 6-1) but I was almost crushed!
Merry new Year my fine posters!
Marc Israel
"Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?"
...David St. Hubbins from the movie "This Is Spinal Tap"
by Izzyforeal365 on Dec 24, 2009 8:46 PM EST up reply actions
Lol, you want a steel groin for Varly. Also, can we just get Sasha a sweater with “Jizz” on the back?
Saw a guy wear a jersey like that to a couple games last season. At the time I thought it was a dumb joke. Little did I know it’s actually the team-mandated nickname…
"My face is my mask."
by Jake Shapiro on Dec 24, 2009 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
A lot of these are gifts for the Rink, not the players. For Fehr, a clear gel to stick on the inside of his visor that reads “Go To The Net” might be a better alternative.
Unleash the Alex!
I wonder what a Christmas list for the Rink Rats would look like…
"My face is my mask."
by Jake Shapiro on Dec 24, 2009 2:21 PM EST up reply actions
A lot of these are gifts for the Rink, not the players.
Other than Giroux, which were you thinking of?
Fehr’s, Laich’s, and Sloan’s all grab me as being more for the Rink’s benefit than theirs :)
Unleash the Alex!
Well, they’re only gifts for the Rink if you consider that higher production, more wins and happier players = happier Rink Rats/Rabbits. For example, I’m sure Fehr would agree he has not had a great run in the shootout.
…although I’ll grant you the Laich one. Ahem.
I didn’t think you’d be granting Laich to anyone.
Only YOU can prevent idiots from commenting!
by Knee high to a duck on Dec 24, 2009 2:33 PM EST up reply actions
…ha…ha.
I’ll grant her the premise that the Laich gift might be more for the benefit of the Rink Rabbits (or one in particular) than for him – although thinking about it now, I’m fairly certain nothing would make him happier than to settle down with a nice local girl. Maybe, I don’t know, one who writes for a Caps blog…
He’s certainly given indications that he’d like to find someone. Unless he’s not thinking permanently.
Than again, a guy who’s not thinking that far out buys a condo (i.e. Mike Green). A guy thinking about settling down buys a house.
"The Caps fan doesn't say, 'is the glass half full' or 'is the glass half empty'. He wonders when the glass is going to spill."
It’s probably some big scheme by him to look like more of a “relationship” guy ;)
As for Greenie…not sure if it’s the condo itself or the style of the condo that gives off signs of not being ready for a grownup relationship. But he’s allowed, he’s still just a puppy.
That was my point. I’m not expecting a single guy in his early/mid twenties to buy a house. Frankly, I’d expect a couple of that age to be in a condo or townhouse. Why be tied down to the responsibility that is a house when you’re young and carefree?
"The Caps fan doesn't say, 'is the glass half full' or 'is the glass half empty'. He wonders when the glass is going to spill."
Oh, I know – was going for more of a “not only does he have a condo but holy CRAP it’s a bachelor pad…giant paintings of naked chicks and all” thing.
But yes, agreed. Hey, some of the guys still rent!
He must be waiting for the right woman to help him furnish it.
Was watching the old Caps Cribs video of Laich’s and Green’s apartments in the same building. Green’s was decorated, and hence looked like someone actually lived there. Laich’s was bare.
"The Caps fan doesn't say, 'is the glass half full' or 'is the glass half empty'. He wonders when the glass is going to spill."
But does that mean that he would want to never participate again simply because he hasn’t had luck to this point? I’d submit not.
Unleash the Alex!
Well, he’s kind of embarrassed himself a couple of times, too – but I’m actually willing to bet most of them would be perfectly happy to see the shootout disappear completely regardless of how well they’ve done.
I remember listening in on a Pettinger interview right after a shootout loss a few years back, and he just sounded annoyed with the whole premise. Compared it to a skills competition, the whole bit. I’d imagine for guys raised on the idea of hockey being a team game, to have winning and losing hinge on that kind of thing is more than a little frustrating.
But I digress :P
hahahaha – awesome!
"No Brooks Laich, no win. Know Brooks Laich, know win."
by kellobellow on Dec 24, 2009 2:27 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Coaches:
Arturs Irbe — Pupils who are each “like wall”
Bob Woods — Complete and undivided attention for lessons on defense or about taking shorter shifts
Dean Evason — A league leader in faceoff percentage and a Selke award winner
Bruce Boudreau — A long career in DC worthy of a sequel or two to “Gabby”
Ted Leonsis — Control over what has so far been out of his control, including ice quality and high def
Press:
Vogel and Stretch — Complete freedom to make washingtoncaps.com great, without NHL interference
Nate Ewell & crew — A fourth consecutive Dillman
John Walton — An NHL gig. He deserves it
Craig Laughlin — A few “laugher” wins so he can tell more crusty old stories
Joe Beninati — The chance to call the Caps in a winter classic
Dan Steinberg — A hilarious interview with a Caps player that gets attention leaguewide
Tarik El Bashir — Twittering responsibilities being handed to someone else on the Post squad
And more than any of the above, I wish:
Corey Masisak — A job covering the Washington Capitals
Atta dinnin stick a who!
by Gould Old Days on Dec 24, 2009 2:55 PM EST reply actions 15 recs
Rec’d for the Corey gift, truer words were never spoken.
But what, no love for your Rink writers?? Yeesh. That’s the thanks we get for slaving over a hot website all day, I suppose…
I actually started thinking about y’all, Peerless, OFB. But I have to go to lunch (west coast). Someone else should take up the gauntlet.
Atta dinnin stick a who!
by Gould Old Days on Dec 24, 2009 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
’Course I am ;)
Interestingly enough, the week he posted that was about 2 weeks before I came on board…SIGH.
And more than any of the above, I wish:
Corey Masisak — A job covering the Washington Capitals
And failing that, a job, period. Probably the only person working for the Times that I care what happens to him.
Great list. And rec’d.
"The Caps fan doesn't say, 'is the glass half full' or 'is the glass half empty'. He wonders when the glass is going to spill."
GreenLife’d.
"After the Cold War, the AK-47 became Russia's biggest export. After that came vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists (and a couple good hockey players)."
by Bald Pollack on Dec 24, 2009 4:16 PM EST up reply actions
On the Christmas wishes, here are my comments:
1) Poor Shaone (ShaMo). Screwed out of birthday gifts. I’m sure he knows how my mom felt. (We should wish for good health for him.)
2) A nice girl for Brooksie — well if anything even happens to my elder daughter’s relationship with her current BF. At least, Brooksie would give her some incentive to stay here. Come to think of it, a nice local girl would be a great gift for Ovi, Semin, and Green as well. (Let ’em all fight for her.)
3) With all the injuries, permanent line mates for BMo haven’t been feasible. So many wingers. So many choices.
4) One of BMo’s kids must be a fan of Pothier. (BMo must have also hit it off very well with BP as well.
5) Yes, a second chance for Matt P sounds like a great idea. Our third line hasn’t been the same lately.
6) Respect for Schultz also. Alex Semin could use that as well.
7) Consistency for Semin. Why don’t we add Fehr, Fleischmann, and Laich in that request as well? Inconsistency, thy name is Caps winger.
I could come up with more idea but great article, even if I might not agree with every point.
Rocking the Red since 1975
Ovechkin, Alex – A brace for him to wear during thetwo or three more gamesevery game this year in which he’ll inevitablycarry the team on his shouldersstick his knee out to try to end someone’s career
Go Flyers!
In an ideal world all ten fingers would be on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
in which he’llinevitablyhopefullycarry the team on his shouldersstick his knee outto try toand endsomeone’shis own career.
/MarioD’d
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 24, 2009 4:29 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Nice, but you forgot to include a personal attack, usually involving sucking balls.
In an ideal world all ten fingers would be on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
AO’s balls must have some extra peanut butter on them today…..
/MarioD’d
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 24, 2009 4:44 PM EST up reply actions
I love my new Huckleberry.
In an ideal world all ten fingers would be on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
even though he was mine first, i’ll gladly bow out on this one. to continue the tombstone reference, there’s just no “puttin’ him outta his misery.”
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 24, 2009 4:54 PM EST up reply actions
Hahaha. He was yours first. Love it. There’s plenty MarioD to go around, Natty. If you want a piece all you have to do is roll on through BSH and he’ll say something objectionable.
In an ideal world all ten fingers would be on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
i do enjoy how you refer to him as “huck” with each new comment. the “you idiots, this isn’t a new system, can’t you read, i grow tired of your idiocy” thread was the best yet.
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 24, 2009 5:28 PM EST up reply actions
BECCA H - Well this is undoubtedly the article that shows your true colors! Some of your so-called “presents” for “our brave boys in red” were not humorous … but downright mean-spirited. You definitely have my vote for the “Grinchiest” of the Grinches! And for you … let’s hope Santa brings you a truckload of crap …. er … coal!
i liked you better when you were calling for giroux and aucoin to take #8’s and #52’s spots on the power play.
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 24, 2009 4:35 PM EST up reply actions
The only problem with giving someone coal in their stocking is that some day someone will have the technology some day to convert that coal into - diamonds. So a similar saying to “if you get lemons, make lemonade” could be “if you get coal, make diamonds”. One time a slogan on a tee shirt sold at an important local swim meet was “Pressure turns coal into diamonds”.
Rocking the Red since 1975
Also, in the Christmas vein, I noticed that another movie about “The Three Chipmunks” came out. It dawned on me that someone should do a photoshop of the Chipmunks in Caps uniforms (and decorated for Christmas). Alvin (in honor of ALexander OVechkIN) should wear #8, Simon (in honor of Semin for his last name is the Russian last name equivalent of Simon) should wear #28, and Theodore (in honor of Fedorov for his last name is the equivalent of Theodore) should wear #91. (Well, we tried our Chipmunk line twice last year; we won both games but the first attempt, Fedorov sprained his ankle and was out for a while and the second time, Semin had an awful game and was moved down to the third line.)
But I’m sure some people would rather honor our goalies instead, with Simon being Semyon Varlamov since Semyon is a variant form of Simon and we all know about Jose Theodore.
Rocking the Red since 1975
Nicely done Becca.
My wish list-
- lots more stuff for the Rink to digest and discuss.
- making NHL-N available without having to buy a sports package and a TV deal that works for all hockey fans( on free TV)
- a bad storm shuttle service for the players
- more BB commercials
- stability at the NHLPA and a smoothly and quickly negotiated new CBA that prevents a future strike/lockout
- a " best of bubbles" fanshot for the Rink Rabbits
- a healthy Caps team
- being here to go to a Washington Capitals Stanley Cup Victory parade before i die!
Health and happieness to all here at the Rink.
Happy Holidays to all!
If you don't wanna get hit, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!
For Boudreau – a 2nd Jack Adam’s trophy and a President’s Trophy.
For Jose – another job in the nhl with a great team(considering he may not be resigned here he has still down a good job)
For Varly – pilates exercise tapes, so he can have an indestructible groin, and some respect for the calder “race”
Everyone else on the team is already having a great xmas in that they are looking to play their best statistical years for many players
People are stupid, a person is smart. This leads me to believe there must be at least one smart hockey fan in Philly.
So over at Pensburgh they created their own Christmas list for their players and this one caught my eye:
Sidney Crosby: An Olympic gold medal, another scoring championship and a second Stanley Cup in as many years. You know, just to put a nail in the coffin about who the best hockey player in the world really is.
Aren’t gold medals and Stanley Cups awarded to teams, not individuals? I mean, Crosby wasn’t even considered the most valuable player in the playoffs last year and from what I saw wasn’t even a factor against the Red Wings but somehow winning the Cup proves that he is the best hockey player in the world? What about Talbot scoring the only two goals for the Pens in game 7, MAF making all the great saves, Malkin scoring at will against Carolina, Scuderi playing out of his mind in every game, etc,? They won the cup because the whole team played great not because of Crosby’s individual efforts but I guess if you are a Pens fan all the contributions from the other players don’t mean a thing. Crosby alone won the Stanley Cup and I guess if Team Canada wins the gold medal, it will be because Crosby was on the team and he is going to make all the difference in the tournament. I understand that Crosby is the best player in the world in the minds of Pens fans and AO is the best player in the world in the minds of Caps fans and that’s not going to change anytime soon. They both have had enough incredible performances and plenty of individual awards so far to support those beliefs but for Pens fans to use team wins and accomplishments as proof that Crosby is the best player in the world is just kind of silly.
Lobbies: Green, Carlson
by CapsFan2020 on Dec 25, 2009 11:07 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
it happens in every sport. nature of the beast.
by Natty Bumppo on Dec 25, 2009 1:51 PM EST up reply actions
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Southeast Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Florida
|
53 | 25 | 17 | 11 | 61 |
|
Washington
|
54 | 28 | 21 | 5 | 61 |
|
Winnipeg
|
56 | 26 | 24 | 6 | 58 |
|
Tampa Bay
|
53 | 23 | 24 | 6 | 52 |
|
Carolina
|
55 | 20 | 25 | 10 | 50 |
(updated 2.10.2012 at 3:26 AM EST)
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