The Incredible Rapidly-Aging Jose Theodore

by J.P. on Feb 18, 2006 6:06 PM EST Comment 0 comments

Watching Canadien's goalie Jose Theodore this year has been like watching time-lapse photography. The season started out with Jose as a young, talented netminder coming off a very good 2003-04 NHL season and being selected to Canada's preliminary 81-man Olympic-eligibility list. Quickly, though, Jose's skills deteriorated and he found himself with a 3.46 goals against average and a .881 save percentage. Then he became a high-priced backup goalie. Then it was revealed that he was going bald and tested positive for a hair-regenerating drug.

Now comes word that he's falling down and breaking bones. It seems that Theodore, who turned 29 just before the season started, is now approximately 75-years-old. And as difficult as this has been to watch, the worst may lie ahead as, at his present pace, one can expect him to become increasingly forgetful by the trade deadline and fully incontinent by mid-April.

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	GP	W	L	OTL	PT
Washington Japers' Rink	22	13	5	4	30
Tampa Bay Raw Charge	19	8	4	7	23
Atlanta Bird Watchers Anonymous	18	10	6	2	22
Florida Litter Box Cats	20	9	9	2	20
Carolina Canes Country	21	4	12	5	13

(updated 11.21.2009 at 8:36 AM EST)

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